Ok. Real talk: Have you ever made a “things I want in a guy” checklist–even just in your head? I definitely did. Mine included things like “must be 6’3” exactly… and drives a truck”. Even pop songs today are full of lists about the “perfect” guy. But goodness we can get bogged down with unimportant details (like “drives a truck”), or a never-ending list that no guy could ever fulfill, or even qualities that might not be best for us. So, what in the world should we be looking for???

Whether you’ve already started dating, or boys seem like they live in a completely separate universe, it’s important to learn what healthy relationships look like–for whenever the time comes.

Let’s take a look at Ruth’s man. Boaz was a man of character. He would’ve checked off all of the “boxes” of the “who-to-date-in-ancient-times” checklist. I think we can take a lot of his character traits and put them into a simplified modern-day list. Let’s call them “The 5 H’s” of what to look for in a guy you want to date:

H #1: Honors God–A TOP PRIORITY!
What it looks like: He actively follows Jesus (goes to church, reads his Bible, talks about God) and lets his faith shape his choices. 
Ruth 2:12 — Boaz speaks openly of his faith and blesses Ruth in the name of the Lord.

H #2: Humble
What it looks like: He puts others first (including YOU), looking out for their needs and treating them with kindness. He isn’t cocky or filled with pride.

Ruth 2:8–9 — Boaz uses his position to protect and provide for Ruth, caring for those with less power.

H #3: Happy (with a little Humor too)
What it looks like: He is a generally positive and joy-filled person. He can make you smile!  Ruth 2:4 — Boaz brings positive energy and greets his workers with joy!

H #4: Healthy
What it looks like: He respects boundaries, practices healthy habits (ex: good hygiene), takes care of himself (ex: moves his body, gets good sleep), and makes wise choices.

Ruth 3:11 — Boaz responds with wisdom and self-control in a situation that could’ve crossed boundaries.

H#5: Honest

What it looks like: He tells people the truth, both in person and online. He is genuine and authentic, full of integrity.

Ruth 4:9-10 — Boaz keeps his promise and tells the truth openly, in public, and with integrity. He is trusted by the people.

Honorable Mention H: Handsome
What it looks like: Attraction DOES matter — just not more than character.
Ruth never describes Boaz’s looks; it is his character that stands out.

I pray that keeping these “5 H’s” in mind will help you with ANY dating relationship, now or in the future. All this being said, our brothers in Christ are growing and learning too. Expecting a 15 year old boy to check all of these boxes perfectly is totally unrealistic. BUT what you should be looking for is that he is moving in these directions.

Now, here’s the other side of the story: It is Ruth’s character that ultimately caught the eye of Boaz! Boaz praises Ruth for her loyalty, faith, and kindness. So, here’s the challenge: while these "5H's" are something to look for in a guy, they should also be something us girls are growing in too: Are you following Jesus? Are you looking out for others? Are you a good friend? Are you taking good care of yourself? All of these help make us better “Ruths”, growing our beautiful character traits along the way. Never to “impress” anyone, but always to draw us closer to our heavenly Father. Because His love is the best.

And that’s the main goal: God’s love. Relationships are just glimpses of His perfect love. So maybe the “dating equation” looks something like this:

Look for a guy who is growing in these “5 H’s” + grow the “Ruth” qualities in yourself = a relationship that honors God and you.

Lists change. Trends fade. But character lasts. When your “5H's checklist” is guided by God’s wisdom and your own growth, you’re setting yourself up for relationships that don’t just look good — they are good!