Have you ever felt like no one gets it? Parents, teachers, youth pastors, maybe even your friends – the “feels” you’re feeling seem big and hard and almost too scary to admit to anyone.

I’ve been there. I remember when I first started experiencing things like insecurity and anxiety in junior high. It was almost embarrassing to be feeling those things because I didn’t think anyone else was dealing with that kind of stuff. Surely I was the only one and I just needed to “get over it” or “not stress so much.” Right…?

For a long time, I thought my feelings were something that was wrong with me. The big feelings and “negative” emotions aren’t talked about much, especially at church. It left me feeling broken, discouraged, and wondering what I needed to do in order to “fix myself” and feel better.

Can I tell you the truth that took me a really long time to learn, friend? Your feelings aren’t something that’s wrong with you. They are part of God’s intentional design.

Did you know God didn’t add emotions after sin came into the world? That’s right, our ability to feel is part of how He made us in His image – and called “very good,” at that.

So why do emotions feel so isolating sometimes? Whether it’s hormonal mood swings or deeper struggles with mental health, it’s easy to feel alone in our feelings.

But here are a few things I’ve learned:

1. Feelings aren’t “good” or “bad.”

Have you seen the movie Inside Out? The characters are all different emotions that run a “control panel” in the mind of a girl named Riley. As Riley grows and gets older, new emotions start showing up and they all have to learn to come together to keep everything in healthy, working order.

It’s a silly concept, but your feelings operate in a similar way. You can’t just flip a switch to turn off all the “negative” emotions like fear, sadness, and anger.

I’ve tried it. I thought I could just avoid all the hard emotions and shut them out, but that didn’t make me feel better. It actually just made me feel numb because we can’t pick and choose which feelings we want to experience. Which brings me to…

2. You have to feel to heal.

I used to think the way to feel better is to stuff down all the negative emotions and only give space to the “good” ones like happiness, excitement or calm.

From wise mentors and therapists, I’ve learned that emotions work in a loop. In other words: the way out is through. If you are feeling sad or angry, sometimes you just need to let yourself feel all the way through it until it passes.

But what if it doesn’t pass? What if the sadness or anxiety don’t go away when you feel them? Great question, sis! I’m glad you asked.

Yes, emotions are a good thing and feeling them is healthy, but when they take the driver’s seat in your life, the road might get a little extra bumpy. And here is where I would recommend asking for some help.

Our world may tell you that needing help is weakness, but it’s actually wisdom.

The God who made you with a beautiful range of emotions also made you with the need for relationship – with Him and with His people.

When your emotions start to feel too heavy for you to process on your own, here are some wise steps you can take to heal and come back into balance in your “control room.”

First, invite God in. Often our feelings are trying to tell us something, and that is why they are a gift from God to help us heal, grow, and depend on Him.

Are you irritable? Maybe your feelings are trying to tell you that you need some rest.

Are you anxious? Maybe your heart is trying to tell you that you’ve taken your eyes off Jesus and started putting your trust in the wrong things.

Are you angry? Maybe your emotions are communicating a hurt that needs to be healed.

Ask the Holy Spirit to show you what your feelings are trying to tell you.

Second, invite others in. If you feel overwhelmed by emotional turmoil that is becoming a deeper mental health struggle, you do not have to carry it on your own. Bravely share with someone you trust – a parent, teacher, friend, or counselor – who can help you determine the best next steps.

Lastly, I want to share this final truth.

3. Jesus feels too.

Jesus wept, he got hungry and tired, he experienced anger and the pain of rejection.

I love how Hebrews 4:15-16 says, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

Because Jesus walked in our shoes and feels what we feel, he is the perfect one to comfort us on this journey. What a gift to have emotions in common with our God!

Friend, hear me say this: having hard emotional days doesn’t mean you aren’t a good Christian, that your faith is weak, or that there’s something wrong with you.

It actually just means that your heart and mind are communicating something – and that something is usually an invitation to come back to Jesus, open your heart to Him again, and let Him comfort you as you lay it all at His feet.

Don’t let the enemy lie to you, sister.

God isn’t bothered by your feelings. You don’t annoy Him and you are not a burden.

He loves you, He loves that you have feelings, and He wants to connect with you through your emotions.