We have given away the keys to our own confidence. Let’s take them back! Whether you go to a public school and endure comments about your body, or if you ever peek at social media, you feel it: the pressure of the “beauty standard.” Let’s be open about what the beauty standard is: big boobs, a tiny waist that you “should” show, big butt, perfect hair, flawless make-up, and name-brand clothes. The standard is at worst impossible, at best exhausting!

But there’s an even bigger problem lurking like a monster behind the mirror—what is the aim of the beauty standard? To be “good enough” for a boyfriend, to be “pretty enough” to be chosen. We put ourselves on display in a lineup, begging for a boy, any boy, to choose us. We dress, act, speak, check our reflections, compare ourselves to other girls, and ultimately feel unloveable—all from the core belief that having a boyfriend is the answer to the question: Am I Loveable? Am I Worthy?

I have been tempted by this same aim, settled for this same belief. I went to the beach, showed as much skin as I could justify, hoping to gain the attention of a guy who would validate my worthiness and make me feel beautiful enough. I put my worth in the hands of any random guy on the beach. And the guys scoping the beach weren’t looking to cherish me as a treasure, but to use me as a fun time. To be “good enough” for them, I just had to be willing to do what they wanted. That standard is way, way, way too low. It is unfair to us and to the guys. You were made as more than a plaything, and a guy was never meant to be or to carry the source of your confidence.

Are you looking for the trope in books and movies of a mighty warrior saving the princess, one who doesn’t leave, one who writes sonnets about his love? Check this out…

Zephaniah 3:17 –“The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” Your Lord and Savior, Jesus, is with you, saving you, delighting in you, singing about YOU! You were made as a delight to your Creator! His is the love you are longing for in the depths of your soul. A guy won’t be able to fulfill this longing, even if he is the right guy!

Genesis 1:27 – “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” Your value as a female is the same as the value of a male, a reflection of the Creator of heaven and earth. We don’t need to wait for a boyfriend to validate our worth. It’s already decided!

Psalm 139:14 – “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Even King David had to remind himself of the truth!

Jeremiah 29:11 –“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” The God of all creation has a plan for YOU. You were made with a purpose that comes from Him who is King of Kings, not to catch or please a boyfriend.

John 1:12-13 – “Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.” You are called the daughter of the King. Don’t settle for shrinking your identity to being just a girlfriend. You are so much more. God says so.

John 15:15 – “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” These are Jesus’ words, spoken when He lived on Earth.

There are times we wrestle with loneliness so deep it feels like a stale and suffocating cave. And yet, we are never alone in that cave. We are called a friend by the Savior of the world.

In our loneliness, we don’t have to lower our standards. We can invite Jesus into that cave with us, ask Him to be our friend in the lonely moments, thank Him for His presence, and ask Him to lead us to the people He has for us.

Let’s shine from the true source of beauty—the unique light that God has given us to carry. And let’s change the narrative for the girls around us—speak out loud about the beauty we see in other girls that comes from their individual reflection of their Creator, not from their swimsuit size. And lastly, walk in the confidence of knowing who and Whose you are. You are already chosen!

Though we aren't worthy of Him on our own, Jesus is enough for us, and He says YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!