Have you ever noticed how you can feel like a slightly different version of yourself depending on where you are? Maybe around your family you act one way and with your friends you act another way. At home you’re quieter, or maybe more yourself than you feel at church or school. It’s not that you’re being fake. It’s just that you’re trying to read the room, say the right thing, be liked. You don’t want to stand out too much, but also not be forgotten.

If you had to be honest with yourself you’d be willing to admit that it’s exhausting. It's exhausting in that end-of-the-day kind of way, where you finally get a moment alone and think, 'Why am I so drained?' I was actually talking about this with a friend recently. We both tend to be high-energy people. We can walk into a room, joke around, make people laugh, and seem super outgoing, but also genuinely love quiet, being home, and having space to just breathe. Something he said really stuck with me: “Just because you can be ‘on’ doesn’t mean you have to be all the time.” That hit me deeply. Sometimes the pressure to stay “on” isn’t even coming from other people. Sometimes it’s pressure we put on ourselves. We start thinking “This is who people expect me to be.”

I normally struggle with major FOMO… the fear of missing out. I want to be included. I want to say yes. I want to be where the people are (And yes… if you just sang that last line like The Little Mermaid, same.)!!

Lately, I’ve been learning something different: sometimes there’s actually joy in missing out too. People call it JOMO… the joy of missing out. I’m starting to get it. Sometimes the moments where I step back, get quiet, and stop trying to keep up with everything around me… those are the same moments where I feel closest to God. Those quieter spaces give me room to breathe, room to recharge, room to remember that my worth isn’t tied to always being available, entertaining, included, or “on.” Rest can be holy too.

God has never asked you to be a polished version of yourself to come to Him. Psalm 139 says that He knows you completely. I think this is why Jesus’ words feel so comforting to people who are tired of trying so hard. Jesus says in Matthew 11:28, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Not “Come to me once you’ve figured yourself out.” Not “Come to me when you’re confident and put together.” Just come. Jesus isn’t asking for the energetic, impressive, always-happy version of you. He’s inviting the tired version of you too. The real you. If you’ve been feeling tired lately, this might be why. Not because something is wrong with you, but because you’ve been carrying the weight of trying to be everything for everyone. That’s not something you were meant to hold.

So maybe this week looks a little different. Not a huge change. Just one small shift: Notice where you feel like you have to be “on.” And in one of those spaces take a small step toward being real. Maybe that means not laughing at something you don’t actually think is funny, saying what you really think (kindly), letting yourself be a little quieter without overthinking it, or stepping away to rest before your social gas tank goes totally empty. It might also mean finding safe people where you don’t feel pressure to perform at all. Like people who remind you that you’re loved for who you are, not just for what you bring into a room.

You don’t have to change everything overnight. This is something I still work through too. But little by little, you can start loosening the pressure. You can start remembering that your worth isn’t built on how well you perform. And you can start trusting that the God who fully knows you is also the One who fully loves you. You don’t have to be “on” to be accepted. Not with Him, and not in the places that actually matter.

As summer ends and a new school year starts, the pressure to be “on” can get even louder. It’s the noise of new classes, friends, schedules, group chats, wanting to fit in and figure out where you belong. But before this school year fully begins, I want you to know something: You do not have to exhaust yourself trying to become someone worthy of being loved, noticed, or accepted. You already matter!